I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and she was petting her beer can
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
