its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
