the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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