Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
