You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
