You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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