oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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