He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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