Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
