if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
