Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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