He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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