but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
