So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
