Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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