I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
