Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I should be sponsored by Trojan
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This is my gift to your gina
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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