Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
