I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
