Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sext me about skeletons
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
