Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
