sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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