He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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