She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
