She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
