Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
