I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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