Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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