It's Friday. Sex?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
