Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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