would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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