so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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