what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
