the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
