I think I am morally bankrupt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
