That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's rum buckets o'clock
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
