Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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