went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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