my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
