i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
