Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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