There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
