why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Come see our sink grown plant.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
