FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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