I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
