I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
