I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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