Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
