does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
