the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
